Stephen Fawcett&Jacquelyn Lenard

Jacqui,

I’ve never been here before.

I’ve never been in this.

I’ve had feelings before. This is not a common occurrence for me. It is unique. I have never loved someone like this.

I never had a honeymoon stage. I never had a marriage that stayed in love like this. I never got to be those little honeymooners — and I do not believe what we have has to fade.

I don’t want it to end. I don’t think it should end. When the world says infatuation fades, or that you have to choose this or that, I ask: does it have to be that way?

I read that intimacy is not identity. As if the two should be split. As if it has to be this or that, instead of this and that.

I am attracted to you. Intimacy is not the whole of who we are — and it is not something I will box away from us either. It is part and parcel. It belongs with the talking, the friendship, the encouragement, the support, the discovery. I will not compartmentalise you.

I want the whole deal.

The talking.The relationship.The encouragement.The support.The intimacy.The laughter.The ridiculousness.The sacred and the ordinary.

The whole package. All of it.

This is untrodden territory for me.

There is a vulnerability in that. I haven’t been here before. So I know I’m going to need grace. You’re going to need grace. We’re going to need grace. We know that.

I don’t promise you perfection.

I promise you presence.

I promise to talk with you, listen to you, encourage you and support you.

I have seen older couples who still hold hands, still cuddle, still affirm each other — not critical, not picky at each other’s faults. That is what I want. And I know I can have that with you.

So I promise to hold your hand. To cuddle you when we’re old. To affirm you instead of picking at your faults. To keep discovering you instead of ever deciding I already know everything there is to know about you.

I want us to be who we are. Those little shiny souls. Those little honeymooners. Over the top. Making everyone around us slightly sick because we are still holding hands and still crazy about each other.

So I’m not standing here repeating an old story. I’m choosing something new with you.

I choose to honour you.I choose to treasure you.I choose to care for you.I choose to protect what grows between us without trying to possess it.

And I choose to keep discovering you.

As life changes us, I won’t spend our lives trying to get back to who we once were.

I will meet who you are becoming. Again and again.

Jacqui, I’m crazy about you. Crazy for you. Crazy for the craziness in you.

And I don’t want to ever stop being crazy about you.

I want your hand still finding mine.Still laughing.Still talking.Still touching.Still choosing.Still discovering.Still us.

So today, before God and before you, I give you the one thing that is completely mine to give:

my choice.

I choose you today.

And I will keep choosing you.

I love you, Jacqui.

I honour you.

I treasure you.

And I will care for you for the rest of my life.

Steve,

This is untrodden territory for me too.

There is vulnerability in loving someone deeply. There is vulnerability in being known, in allowing another person close, and in trusting them with the parts of yourself that you have protected.

So I don’t stand here pretending that either of us knows everything the future will bring.

I stand here knowing I choose you.

I choose the whole of us.

The conversations that seem to go forever.The laughter.The encouragement.The support.The intimacy.The craziness.The quiet.The discovery.

And all those parts of ourselves we haven’t even met yet.

I don’t want a love that has a honeymoon and then slowly forgets how to be in love.

I want to still reach for your hand when we’re old.

I want to cuddle you.

I want to affirm you.

I want us to remain curious about each other.

I want to keep seeing you, not just the person standing before me today, but the person you continue becoming.

I know there will be moments when you need grace.

There will be moments when I need grace.

And I promise to make room for both.

I promise to honour you without trying to control you.To treasure you without possessing you.To listen when you need to be heard.To speak when something needs to be said.To encourage your dreams and stand beside you when life is difficult.

I promise to make our relationship somewhere we can both be completely ourselves. Those little shiny souls. Who we actually are.

I choose the talking.I choose the friendship.I choose the attraction.I choose the intimacy.I choose the sacred and the ordinary.I choose the whole package.

And I hope we never become embarrassed by loving each other too much.

Let us be those ridiculous little honeymooners.

Let us be the couple still holding hands.

Still laughing.Still touching.Still encouraging one another.Still a little over the top.Still crazy about each other.

Because I don’t want to merely grow old beside you.

I want to keep growing with you.

So when you change, I will meet you there.

When I change, I will trust you to meet me there too.

And when neither of us knows exactly where we’re going, we’ll discover it together.

Steve, today I give you my choice freely.

Not once.

But again and again.

I choose you today.

I choose the life we are creating.

I choose the person you are and the person you are becoming.

I honour you.

I treasure you.

I will care for you.

And I will keep choosing you for the rest of my life.